The following article was written by Carl Holiday in 1919
In the past, during the Wedding banquet was generally the time and the place to present the wedding gifts. It is true neither the Saxon nor the Elizabethan bride received a multitude of sugar-spoons, olive-forks, brass candle-sticks, and imbecile gilt clocks; but most of her presents were just as curious, even if more practical. Bodkins and belt knives were popular gifts for wives of Shakespeare's day, while scissors were often presented with the hint that, if not to her liking, the lady might cut the matrimonial thread. As a woman of that period, however, wore in her belt a pair of pinchers, a pair of scissors, a pen-knife, a knife for folding letters, bodkins, ear-pickers, a purse, and a case containing scales, hardware was a very thoughtful and welcome gift. This matter of offering such presents runs back in England at least, to the Norman Conquest. The money or articles then bestowed by one peasant upon another were understood to be but loans to be returned when the couple were well established; but as the feudal lord grew in power he came to expect gifts for his children 's marriages from all persons dependent upon him; and, indeed, had laws passed compelling a present in value up to one-twentieth of the tenant 's yearly rent. Among the higher classes this giving became more and more an open commercial transaction, and even so great a ruler as James I, reviving the law just mentioned, received at the wedding of his daughter Elizabeth the sum of twenty-one thousand pounds.
The common people, seized with the same greed, originated the "bidding" or "penny" wedding, at which light refreshments were served and a plate passed around for cash gratuities. As high as one hundred pounds (fully equal to one thousand dollars in modern money) was sometimes collected by this means. The custom may seem strange; but it still lives in a slightly changed form in the "pound party" often given the newly married in the ruder settlements of America. The present at length became so important a part of the institution of marriage that many churches kept a register for the accurate listing of such tokens and the terms of their presentation. Frequently, to increase this source of matrimonial income, the brides-maids collected the gifts during the wedding at the church-porch, with the result that every fellow in love with one of the lassies went bankrupt in appearing benevolent before her. A most successful way of increasing the gifts was to prepare an entertainment called "ale," stick up a green bush in front of the house, and bid everybody, neighbor and stranger, priest and scamp, welcome. These entertainments were highly profitable enterprises, but finally became so riotous that many shires passed laws allowing only thirty-two guests at any one "ale." Many were the schemes for getting married and rich at the same time. One rascal in Cumberland, England, in order to obtain a paying crowd, advertised that he would marry the first girl who would meet him in the church yard. Of course, he had previously arranged a plan with his chosen one; but the multitude gladly paid to see such a hasty match.
To come back, however, to our old-time wedding table, where the cake has been smashed and the gifts presented and where drunkenness and indecency now reign supreme. The time is at hand for the guests to depart. The brides-maids start with the weary bride to the wedding chamber when suddenly the cry arises, "Get her garter!" For from time immemorial the custom had prevailed for some male guest to secure this bit of bridal ribbon. If the woman has been thoughtful, she has fastened it loosely to the bottom of her dress so that it drags in plain view of the scrambling ruffians; if she has not been a wise virgin, she may find her clothes in rags after the struggle.
Now at length she is allowed to go in peace to her room, where the maids in disrobing her carefully throw away all pins used in her dress; for any damsel retaining one would not be married before next Whitsumtide. Hardly has the young wife put her head upon the pillow when in rushes the husband with the whole rabble at his heels! And now occurs another strange scene. The husband having been put to bed, the two "best men" seat themselves back to back on the groom's side of it, and the two bridesmaids in a similar position on the bride's side. Each of the men now takes a stocking of the husband, each of the maids a stocking of the wife. Then the game begins. The first best man, throwing the stocking back over his shoulder, tries to hit the bride's head; the first maid takes her turn attempting to hit the groom; then the second man and then the second maid
The person first striking the human target will be the first to marry. Meantime the crowd laugh and shout and crack rude jokes, while; the blushing bride wonders if it will never end. This too, remember, occurred in the highest society. Charles I at his marriage barred the door; but the guests raised such a "rough house" that succeeding monarchs feared to interfere. George III, however, escaped it by previous agreement, and since his day the custom has never been revived — at least in the royal household.
Perhaps you think that now the couple will be left in peace. Well, hardly. Another absolutely necessary part of the ceremony remains. The priest must come with burning incense, and very slowly and deliberately sprinkle the bed and its occupants with holy water and bless the resting place and them. The parson of medieval and Elizabethan days was somewhat mercenary, and unless a liberal cash consideration were forthcoming stubbornly waited until midnight to perform this duty.
Now the mob departed; but as they passed out they slapped and pounded one another and shouted, "Remember the wedding!" Doubtless the bride believed she would. This departure was often the roughest part of the entertainment; for the drunken rowdies frequently battered one another until some fell unconscious. Rabelais tells, in some one of his writings, of a wedding where several teeth were knocked out and a jawbone dislocated. Ah, the "good old times!"
Hardly had the bride breathed a fervent "Thank God" when a hideous din broke forth outside. "The belling!" the couple gasped. The wedding serenade or "belling" was another time-honored custom of both England and the Continent. Sometimes a drum or a "wry-necked fife" furnished the music; sometimes a couple of fiddles; but more frequently the harmony was increased with the aid of bells, rattle-bones, shovels, tongs, skillet-lids, kettles containing rocks, and the once famous "cleavers." Those cleaver players were wonders. Eight butchers would grind these knives until each produced a different note of the octave, and then with "marrow bones and cleavers" the air was filled with a melody like the village chimes. Your old-time "bellers" possessed all the patience in the world. Unless the groom came forth with a liberal contribution they kept cheerily at it all night and until after breakfast. One of Hogarth 's most realistic pictures shows a band of such musicians pounding away before a house while the newly married shopman and his wife stand in the door disputing as to what is the smallest gift they can offer without causing a riot. The serenaders of early days took themselves very seriously.
Scarcely had daylight broken in upon the haggard couple when the brides-maids hastened into the chamber with a cup of sack-posset — the first act of mercy in the course of the wedding. Hardly had this been swallowed when — scandalous to relate— the neighbors and the blear-eyed and battered guests began to gather in the bed-room to see the couple arise and make their toilet! Lucky was the bride whose maids were shrewd enough to draw the guests away. The early brides-maid was indeed a very present help in time of need, and liberally was she compensated. "Three times a brides-maid, never a bride" shows what the lass expected for all her toil and trouble.
The prospective wife of ancient times would have done well to go into heavy, training twelve months before marriage. Little wonder that in the days of George III the wedding trip became so fashionable.
St. James' Palace, London. Royal wedding presents on
view at St James Palace, 1947
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